For you author-wanna-be’s out there out there: Those of you who would like to birth a book fast, you better get on it, because today is DAY 1. Ready – Fire – Aim! I’m presuming you can find some sort of support at www.nanowrimo.org if you need to regurgitate a novel in 30 days.

That still leaves me with the NoBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) dilemma. NoBloPoMo is called “Glorious Madness” on BlogHer. “Madness” I understand. “Glorious” – not so much. Although I don’t blog on that site, it’s pretty significant peer pressure to have all this commentary out there and mine isn’t part of it.

Last month I told WOW (my writers group) that although I write a lot daily, I haven’t done a blog post in close to forever. Connie, the genius editor who runs the group, asked what I thought my “block” was on blogging and what do I write about on my site(s). I replied, “Whatever shows up in my head” to which she simply stared at me and said, “That’s scary.”

I continued the conversation that I was tired of being “proper” in my personal commentary. When I want to say “I don’t give a shit”, I would write “I don’t care that I don’t care”. Not anymore, because I’ve got too many days of posting coming up with this NoBloPoMo pressure.

There you go. Forewarned is forearmed. I’m curious to see what kind of “scary” comes out on these pages over the next month, too.

Blessings-

Cindy

I pondered, “How cool is it that we don’t need to know that stuff?! Somebody else figured it out!”

Most of us live a life surrounded by conveniences. We travel highways that someone else engineered and constructed to handle extreme temps, heavy weights, drainage issues. I have no clue how to dry a coffee bean (are they even dried?) or make the pottery mug I am sipping from right now. When I talk to my mom on the phone, it still amazes me that somehow it sounds “just like her” – only the sound of her voice is coming out of my cell phone, while she lives far from me.

Bouncing through life with our daily routines, concerns, responsibilities, it’s common to miss the magic and miracles around us that are seemingly just “there”, expected. The natural world cycles with growing, blooming, feeding, seeding, decay. Ants are in constant busyness building their domed castles. Bees, birds and breezes handle pollination. The maple tree isn’t bitching because it’s growing next to the pine and the elm who are stealing some of its sun. Or maybe it is. Nature as a whole seems to be doing just fine without much “people input”.

Yet, there is so much else beyond the natural world we expect as a “what is” because some artist, inventor, engineer, builder, healer, teacher saw a need and decided to do something about it. They stood for something to improve life for all of us. Cobblestone roads were better than dirt/mud, so someone had to figure that out to put a bunch of stones together in a path centuries ago to form roads. “People input” has been used to harness the knowledge and resources of nature for food, building products, heat, transportation, medicine.

If not for ongoing curiosity and genius ideas from many considered “crazy”, the ones who came up with solutions for the betterment of society, we wouldn’t have a global system to even define “time”, much less an alarm with a customized ring tone feature on our mobile devices.

Here’s how to recognize how spoiled you really are. The next time you are sitting in traffic, whining about rush hour, remember these few tidbits and see what that does for your disposition: You didn’t have to know how to build or operate the construction equipment that was necessary to build the road that you are crawling on. You didn’t have to write your drivers manual or car manual or know where to place the street signage so everyone plays the same game by the same rules and stays on the correct side of the road going same direction. Somebody somewhere figured out how to engineer and build the car/bus you are riding in, and figured out how to refine the gas and oil that makes its engine work. “People input” also generated the radio/CD player/iPod options for you to learn something or listen to music that you didn’t have to know to record. Oh, and the surround sound isn’t hampered by outside traffic noise, because you can keep your windows up to regulate the car temp with A/C or heat, all for your traffic-sitting pleasure.

No matter what your journey/destiny on any given day, be glad that you don’t need to know all that much. Some geniuses solved a bunch of your daily life for you long before you knew you needed them. With most of the heavy lifting already handled in your day, you can do the work you are called to do without the illusion of inconveniences. Those awaiting you at your destination will be glad you took some time to realize how spoiled you really are.

Blessings-

Cindy

As a witness, we could consider the explosion of new life to be to be easy, since it’s simply what nature does, right?  Sprouts are pushing with all their might through the safety of the soil, exposing themselves to sun, wind and rain so they can grow leaves and eventually sprout buds.  Baby birds are poking through the dark familiar surroundings of egg shells, to expose themselves to light so they can transform fuzz into feathers.  Transitions abound everywhere as nature is doing what does – ever expand.  Growth is happening with fragile beginnings everywhere you can see or imagine.  It appears to be a cakewalk, yet is it really?

I was talking to a friend the other day about how transitions are a natural part of life and, unlike children who love learning and curiosity and adventure, adults seem to fight being a beginner, or an explorer.  She said it’s because adults don’t like the “V” word (vulnerable).  I said it’s because they don’t understand the “F” word (fragile) as being a natural part of life.

What’s that saying…“Change is inevitable, Growth is optional”?   Sure, the new sprout, because it’s tender, could be eaten by whatever eats tender sprouts.  Predators stalk bird or turtle nests of eggs or newly hatched babies as the way nature works.  I won’t even touch on the horror stories of what happens to some fragile children in our world who aren’t given love, care and attention.

The lucky who made it to adulthood, however, have evidence that they have been vulnerable countless times, because natural life transitions are inevitable to attain maturity.  We go through many new phases in order to grow up.  The chicks found they could no longer survive in the egg, so they needed to break through the shell into the light so they could grow feathers and wings…and then they were fragile.  Soon enough, after squawking for their food and getting too big for their nests (think teenagers) it was time to leave the space that nurtured them so well, even though they weren’t experts on flying yet…and then they were fragile.

It’s at those new beginning times that something miraculous happens, there is a constant theme – we are taken care of.  Frail baby birds are kept warm under mama’s wings and have chewed up food dumped on their gaping beaks until they can “survive” well enough in the nest.  Once the nest is “no longer working for them”, even if it is familiar, they plop out and hop around.  Before being able to fly solo, the adult birds give flying lessons and watch out for danger.

Mother Nature continues to give us examples that it doesn’t matter how good we are at something, when we get too big for our current environments, it’s time to suck it up and be vulnerable, even though we will be “fragile” as a beginner in our new phase.  Our lesson is courage – to know that we will eventually “die” (emotionally, spiritually, financially, intellectually) if we don’t move on, because we no longer “fit”, even if we are damn efficient within our current experience.  Here’s the clue:  When being excellent at something shifts from being effective to uncomfortable, stagnant or suffocating…it’s time to move on. The longer we wait, the more pain and suffering we will endure.  Period.

The harsh reality then becomes:  If we don’t move on our own, something else will force the issue.   When it’s time to shift to our next “learning” for our souls’ growth, the logistics of change sometimes seem too much to bear.  Similar to a butterfly’s fight to escape its cocoon, the struggle doesn’t need to be pretty, it’s designed to be effective.  How upside down could find yourself after you got fired from your job (and lost your “identity” because your given “title” is no longer under your name on a business card)?  Remember walking into the giant high school on the first day of school as a terrified freshman?  You found your locker, the seniors didn’t kill you and your heart is still beating till this day.  How do you manage to live with “just you” after a divorce, your baby went to college or your lover and best friend of 65 years is no longer around to give you your daily “love tap” with his/her cane?  These times of turmoil are when our courage muscles really get tested, so eventually our new light can shine even brighter.

This spring when you experience the joy, beauty and bounty that new growth can bring, think of what’s next for your life experience.  Remember that when you “no longer fit” your current experience, it’s nothing but a clue that something wonderful awaits on the other side of your letting go and becoming a “beginner” again.  Knowing that “fragile” is ok, it doesn’t last forever, and your next blessing to the world is being born holds a certain magic.  Be inspired by your courage and your  brilliance.  We’re all waiting to experience it, too!

Blessings-

Cindy

I did my internal wonder and rationalization as I do when I need to get the “conversation” removed from my brain.  Sometimes I even jot some notes, as I did in the damn morning pages that day.  Causal means I get to be focused on getting something done.  Causal is the opposite of formal or maybe means a slower, relaxed pace.  I probably can’t be casual and causal at the same time because things would move too slowly for me, blah, blah, blah.   I let the idea drop, figuring it would show up when it needs to be a message.

Alas, the concept couldn’t leave me alone as it came back this week.  Mother Nature decided to teach the lesson. Never at a loss for a sense of humor, “Mom” evidently thought that the aesthetics of my property were somehow diminishing and she needed to do something.  The snow banks have finally been shrinking on both sides of my driveway from face-height to hip-height over the past week or so with our 50 degree heat waves and some rain.  We’ve only had about 80” of snow to shovel this season so far to create the nice tunnel effect that I get to drive through from the street into my garage.  So for good measure, Mom Nature decided to take matters in her own hands and dropped about 6” of the nice heavy March snow – you know, the stuff perfect for snowball fights and making snowmen?  As I was shoveling that no-longer-fluffy white stuff off the sidewalk and driveway in order to amp up the snow banks, the casual-causal idea showed up again – with story analogies this time.

About half way down the driveway as I was energetically, methodically getting my equivalent of a P90X warmup, the Hare and the Tortoise story came to mind.  Both the rabbit and the turtle were causal as they both had strong intentions to finish the race.  Yet, which one of the two, if any, was casual?  Based on my original thought last week, both probably couldn’t happen simultaneously, right?  Certainly, the hare dashed multiple times to his next stop so he could hang out and rest.  He could be considered casual, even unconcerned in his arrogance, knowing he would certainly win a race against a slow reptile.  Arguably, the determined tortoise could have also been deemed to be casual as he plodded, albeit unwaveringly, toward the finish line.  That said, my original theory from last week is incorrect.  “What’s the point of this….my fingers are getting cold!”, I found myself muttering.

The point:  What value could inspired actions, whether dramatic or diligent, offer us if our approach to a desired end was both causal and casual?  Could we land at the finish line more sanely?  Would someone who is used to a faster pace be bored or anxious?  Not really…I was casually (although not slowly as it was 30 degrees) and causally uncovering pavement and it was lovely because the all-encompassing hyper-focus of get it done at warp speed was missing.  The combo of casual and causal allowed me to enjoy the weather, the quiet and uninterrupted thinking time.

The purposefulness of being causal is what gets us into action toward a goal dream or end result.  The ongoing forward movement affords a sense of accomplishment. Considering a casual action plan, whether using methodical consistent baby steps (think tortoise) or big leaps followed by resting or regrouping (think hare), doesn’t mean jobs can’t be done quickly or without focus.  Steven Covey’s “Sharpen the Saw” analogy is an excellent reminder of the need to be “on purpose”, yet make time for self-care and improvement along the way.  Getting all wrapped around the axle pushing ourselves to a frenzy or burnout point serves no one in the long run.  Working casually often can take the rigidity away from the need to have something “look a certain way” while still creating a desired end.  Given our often hectic lifestyles, could that offer you a different perspective?

I wonder if Michelangelo, while chipping away at the rock that contained “David”, thought his work had to be done a specific, formal, rigid or hurried way.  Or was he simply intent to artfully remove any parts of the stone that weren’t David?  If your inner artist (yes, we all have one) were to master something in your inspired life, causal intention is necessary.  Would you do it casually, too?

BE the inspiration YOU are!

Cindy

Fast forward to today.  A few weeks ago I moved.  A new beginning of sorts since I moved to a different suburb after living in the same suburb, raising my family, doing my businesses and volunteering there for almost 24 years.  I’m in a home older than I’ve been accustomed to and guess what adorns my foyer?  Yup…wallpaper from hell.

When one of my nephews, then one of my son’s friends, who helped with my move saw the walls in my entryway for the first time, they marveled, “Wow!  This is SO cool!  I wish I had this in MY place!”  Keep in mind, these guys are 19-23 years old and have never seen the mirrored wallpaper phenomenon since most of it was (thankfully) gone prior to their births.

As I was stripping wallpaper from what was the pretty Pepto-Bismol Pink bathroom this weekend (my adventure isn’t limited to the foyer walls), I had the best idea.  That’s the part that has to do with You.

It occurred to me that there are 2 things that happen in early March that can help me expedite this house project dilemma.  Not high school sports tournaments.  Not Spring Breaks.  It’s that time of the year for both March Madness Sales and The Minneapolis Home and Garden Show.

When I worked in someone else’s office years ago, I used to take a vacation day every year to go to the Mpls Convention Center on a weekday before the big weekend rush to visit the home improvement vendors and smell the flowers and dirt they brought in for displays.  A date I couldn’t deny myself when there were typically snow banks everywhere on the way to all those blooms just waiting to show off downtown.  Loved it!  I like upgrading houses and I enjoy gardening, which is a bonus, since the place I moved to a couple of weeks ago has given me more than ample “opportunities” to do both.  Translate:  LOTS of work to do.  In EVERY room (literally).   Before gardening season starts.

As a gardener and artist, it’s one thing to be curious with anticipation and another thing to expect a major project.  I don’t know what’s under the 4’ of snow in my new backyard other than some evidence of a wire fence in the shape of a square doing its best to peek out for air.  “Grandma”, the lovely 90-year old lady that lived here for the past 35 years, promised there is a garden back there and listed a few surprises I may find if – I mean when – the snow melts.

Yesterday, as my best buddy, DIF, and I tackled layers of glue on the walls in anticipation of Spackle, Sandpaper and Blue Tape to do their duties next before the main event (paint!), the genius idea came to me…a way to “stop the madness”!

Since I don’t do business on this site, if you are in the Minneapolis/St Paul area and care to continue, the rest of this story is a promotion for You…the craziest one I have ever done.  You can find it under the same title as above at cindydaniels.com.   Thanks for reading.

Hope you can join me there…

Cindy

As adventures would have it, I moved out of the suburb that I raised my family in since 1987 to…yes, one suburb over AND a rival school district.  My children may think I’ve completely lost my mind, yet it’s going on Day 4 and they’re still talking to me.

The night my final boxes and furniture were dropped off somewhere under my new roof by my gracious, generous friends and family who suffered the logistics of this move, I went to pick up some groceries.  I  couldn’t stop smiling in the store…thinking back to “when the heck was the last time I shopped for food for just me, anyway?”  The light bulb came on in that instant.  Wow.  It was in college.  I really get to make this MY exciting, uplifting, confusing, freeing adventure.  What an identity shift from my “roles” as mom, etc. to this newfound identity.  Of course, declaring an adventure, the Universe decided to help.

The next official full day of living in Boxland, on Day 1, I learned that a space heater and hair dryer are not compatible to be “on” at the same time with the same circuit.  I also learned that all the houses I’ve lived in have circuit breakers that need the switch flipped to turn on the power again.   The circuit box was much more colorful than a bunch of black switches…it contained little round fuses of all different colors, letters and numbers.  First initiation into my new town:  the young guys at the local hardware store are amazing, despite the school rivalry thing.

What IS it with THIS particular adventure?  I feel happier and more inspired with each passing day.  Declarations (i.e. standing for something to “be” in the face of no evidence) do that.   They have an energy of their own that can make hassles turn to minor details.  The power from the bathroom also affected the garage door, which I realized as the garbage truck slowed down wondering where the container was for pickup.  Good thing it’s stupid cold and nothing is going to get ripe before next week in that container like it would August.  Another blessing?  Yes.

On Day 2, I found my silverware.  “Stuff” is beginning to migrate to the rooms where it/they will be living.  On Day 3, I now have a path through my kitchen!  What normally would be impatience in my world has a happy calmness, and despite sleep deprivation, this transition continues to be EASY – because I said so.

Where in your life have you “blown a fuse” only to find out that your known “remedy” is no longer an option?  Is it a source of aggravation?  Do you consider it a “learning moment”?  Could it be a fun way to explore wherever the solution resides with ease and interest?  Could you choose to wrap yourself in a “happiness blanket” despite your circumstances and see what other graces then come your way with that attitude?

We’re only five short weeks into 2011.  How would it be for YOU to declare from now until next February, “The Year of [YOU]”?  Kindly let me know how it goes for you!  In the meantime, I get to anticipate Day 4 of whatever the “Move Adventure” has in store.  If you haven’t started, make your adventure happen today, too!

BE the Inspiration YOU are…

Cindy

After a bit, a lovely, tender lady in a very fashionable hat, rolled a Sears shopping cart carrying only her purse over to the hearth and sat down right in front of me.  What a sophisticated hat on this petite, sparkling-eyed gem!  It wasn’t 30 seconds before she started,  “This is my home away from home.  I live 9/10ths miles from where I work at the high school in the lunch room and I really think the school should have underground parking because there is a lot of snow to clean off when I get out of work. I have the best job and make more money than ever in my life – 14 dollars minus a nickel per hour and I work 4 and ¼ hours except on Wednesdays when I work 4 and ¾ hours.”

Her name is Dorothy.  I’m guessing at not even 5’ tall and 85 years old, the 40+ inches of snow so far this year is probably more of an inconvenience than a deterrent for sweet, feisty Dorothy.

For the ease of reading this, I added a few periods to avoid the world’s longest run-on sentence.  Dorothy doesn’t speak with punctuation.  When I asked about her hat, her response was something like,

“Before the war (WWII) I used to be a Dayton’s girl and worked downtown, so I love hats.  Then my husband was in the marines and now I am widowed and I have 6 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren.  I like to come here because they have some underground parking. At the bookstore I was watching a book with pictures of all the cities in the country for when it would go on sale.  It went on sale, then on sale again so I could buy it.  I’m watching another picture book now and have to wait until that goes on sale a couple more times so I can maybe get that one someday.  The fire is nice here.  I come here a lot.  I like to spend time at the bookstore.”

We had further discussion about how bookstores were fascinating and a place we’ve both spent lots of curious hours.  I confessed that it’s also the place that I uncovered one of my most ridiculous moments of ignorance (of the many that I’ve uncovered).  I told Dorothy that many years ago, I dated a gourmet cook.  Early in our relationship, he would call me around 4:30 in the afternoon and ask what I was making for dinner.  My reply, “Dinner? It’s 4:30 in the afternoon!  Why would I think about dinner now? I’m still working.  I’ll think about making dinner when it’s time to make dinner…it’ll likely be something from a can, jar, box… or frozen.”  Unlike so many people who consider food an “experience”, to me food is fuel.  My experience of a meal comes mostly from the people I’m with and sometimes the aesthetics.  He would host dinner parties and I would help him with kitchen prep wondering why anyone would be intrigued with the process of all that.  Making it look pretty was appealing to me; the cooking….not so much.  He eventually got to the point of answering the phone when I’d call with “Hey! Can, jar, box or frozen!  How are you today?”  Eventually he informed me that he didn’t care for how easily that comment flowed across my lips.  Which brings me to the embarrassing, yet meaningful point to this story.

One day this man informed me that he needed to go to the bookstore to get a cookbook.  I was confused.  So confused that I must have looked at him like puppies do when they cock their heads and ears perk up when they hear the word “treat” or “ride”.  Did I hear him correctly?  “You want to go to the bookstore to get a cookbook?!  They sell cookbooks at a bookstore?”  He was horrified at my ignorance.  He knew how I loved to read and learn and we’ve even spent a fair amount of time there together.  “Where do you think you would buy a cookbook?” he said.  Who knows?  In my entire life, it has never occurred to me to buy a cookbook, except now that I think about it, I got one for a microwave a hundred years ago so I could didn’t make my broccoli mushy in a pot anymore.  Aren’t cookbooks kind of like pens with logos…they just show up?  Maybe from bridal showers or from aunts or church fundraisers…right?

Off we went to the bookstore and what did I see for the first time?  Barnes & Noble had TWO full isles of cookbooks!  Who knew?  Plus another full rack of diet books!  Wow.  Hmmm.  And I went to college.  Genius.

That got me thinking about what else I am blinded to when it’s simply not on my radar screen.  I remember when I was house hunting, I noticed virtually every real estate sign in a front yard.  For the years I wasn’t looking for a house, I hardly ever saw one.  I presume all the For Sale signs didn’t magically disappear, they simply were no longer in my conscious awareness.  They had no need to be “drawn” from the background to the foreground for me anymore.

It’s common to get in sort of a hypnotic state and miss much of our surroundings.  Did you ever drive home from work and remember getting in the car when you started, then parking at home, only to wonder how “autopilot” somehow mysteriously got you from Point A to Point B with no recall of the trip?  If it was a new route or you were lost, how different would your awareness become?

At some level, all of us go through life like this.  Backgrounds of beauty are simply white noise unless we pay attention.  Signs or signals of love, invitations, sunsets, appreciation, connectedness are always available.   What about the shifting to your “online” life….where so much learning is being gleaned from something with a screen?  Is that going to supersede gardening, or hiking or white water rafting or holding hands?  Would you call yourself diverted, focused, oblivious, engaged?

Or would your eyes sparkle when relating to relationships, like Dorothy?

As I was winding up my visit with her, my daughter who is now away at college, called and I asked her if she remembered sweet Dorothy from when she was in high school.  “The lunch lady!  She’s the sweetest, kindest lady with a face I’ll never forget and has the coolest jewelry.”  Dorothy smiled.  Of course she has the coolest jewelry…she reminded me she was a “Dayton’s girl” before “The War”.

Be the inspiration YOU are!

Cindy

Sometimes we’re lucky like that.  We choose immersion.  We get the rules: don’t suit up and get on the field or the court unless you’ve been at practice and know how to play.   At some starting point when we decided to learn that “thing”, we signed up, showed up and learned, then we figured out enough from our coaches, mentors or teachers to be a success if we put effort into whatever it was.

Learning new things can ignite all kinds of emotional and mental dormancy.  There is a usually a rapid awareness of the 3 different Categories of Knowledge.

1)      What I know that I know.

2)      What I know that I don’t know.

3)      What I don’t know that I don’t know.

In the case of immersion, often times #1 is minimal, #2 is significant and #3 is either frustrating, keeps us in denial or helps us survive because of our naivety.  There is magic in #3, because often times our answers that we believe are beyond us live there.

Recently I found myself in “blog immersion”.  I decided that building a website for a new business venture couldn’t be that hard because, after all, I’ve been periodically posting on this WordPress site for some time now.  The language is in English, I can find anything on Google, so what the heck?  I was heavily immersed in Knowledge Category #2 (I thought) as I knew I didn’t know how to build a website.  I was blessed to get a few of Sandi Krakowski’s video clips to figure out that I had to customize my dashboard.  I soon realized it was very different from my lovely little blog dashboard behind this post which someone in WordPressland magically made super simple.  I began learning the “language”, which was a different English than I know.  “Plugins” are not really the thing at the end of the cord that goes into the wall to turn on a lamp.  “Widgets” are not the things that the guy at the hardware store sells to fix the whatever-it-is that needs repair.   How would I know that my hosting company was where I needed to deal with a FTP file…and what IS that anyway?!?  After my frustration level got somewhere between breaking out in hives and full-blown shingles, I realized that I wasn’t living only in the land of Knowledge Category #2, I was underwater in Category #3.  I didn’t even know what questions to ask because I didn’t know enough of website design language to ask Google.   I wanted to quit.  And I couldn’t.  I needed to get the website done.  Guess what happened?  I somehow crossed the “invisible line” that happens when we choose to continue, not retreat.  I switched my mindset into thinking “this is a fun puzzle and I’m liking to learn this new skill.”  Ok, it was “fake it till I make it” for a little bit.  Now it’s solid.

Where are you “immersed” in your life?  Immersion STRETCHES us beyond our comfort zones.   Do you think a seedling is all excited about poking it’s head out of the comfy ground in springtime just to get accosted by the elements?  It has no choice if it is to grow.  Neither do we.  Growth comes from restlessness, when our current state no longer “fits” us.

Whenever you find yourself in the space of “restlessness”, that’s a sign…it’s time that you are “up to something”, something different.  You’ve outgrown the need for your current situation as it stands.

Here are some questions to consider if you’re feeling an internal need of some inspiration, new learning or something “different”.  Maybe you could use a bit more passion or excitement or feel “called” to do something new or “crazy”?  That’s called a clue.  Time for expansion.

When you find an opportunity or something that you’ve not done that sounds intriguing, do you get excited and check it out or would you rather “pass”?

Do you find yourself giving in too soon because of frustration or wanting to only do what comes easily or naturally? Note:  in our instant-gratification-fast-food-texting world, that is something significant to pay attention to … not all results are immediate.

Is there REALLY any mental stimulation in doing easy puzzles or limiting your reading to 140 character twitter posts?

Do you grow emotionally by only hanging out with people who agree with you or share your opinions?

Do you need to do grow in your job or expand into something else in order to create a more meaningful financial future for yourself?

Can you grow spiritually without learning forgiveness or self-care?

Are you really where you feel the healthiest you’ve ever been or do you need to adjust your diet or exercise program?

It’s easy to make-believe that, like a fish swimming in its same bowl, our “sameness” is working for us because the water doesn’t change.  There is no growth in “familiar”.  Eventually, there is no excitement in familiar.  Ask yourself if you are TRULY comfortable with your “familiar”, whatever you may name it.  Or has Restlessness poked its nose into your comfortable daily grind?  Maybe it’s time to choose an “immersion” for yourself!

Before I go, I need to touch on the other kind of immersion – the one that isn’t necessarily consciously chosen. If you are diagnosed with an illness, lose your job, get in a car crash or a loved one passes, you are immersed.  Fast.  The themes might be different, yet your head will be exploding with questions and your emotional triggers will be going off like fireworks after the Superbowl once you get past the initial shock.  One solution to aid you from shutting down is to come up with a simple daily practice.  Here’s an example:

First breathe.  Next, write down (list) 1) what you know that you know, 2) what you know that you don’t know, and be aware that the largest category is 3) what you don’t know that you don’t know.  It’s crucial that you don’t let Category #3 scare you because that third list is “empty”.  There’s an excellent chance that what you are looking for will come from there.   You’ll be surprised at how, as you write your daily lists in your practice, things move from list #2 to list #1.  And magically….more answers emerge!  Where did they come from?!  They came from you, your inner genius.  Then, because you did your part, the forces beyond us jumped in to play, too.  Lucky you.

So as I write this, I am experiencing a personal new “immersion”…that of a new lifestyle called “empty nester”.  I realize I dislike that title as much as I disliked being called a “newlywed” a few…uh…years ago.   My youngest child left for college a few days ago.  After having my kids around for more than 27 years and all the emotion that this time stirs up in me, I’m experiencing restlessness.  How is being immersed in quiet and no drama is going to suit me?  I’ve got a pretty big category #3 staring at me and of course, the list is empty.  This isn’t a “stick my toe in to check the water” situation.  I just dove into that unknown, have come up for air and I’m starting to swim….and the options of where to go are not mapped.  Immersions bring unlimited options!  Nice.

Thanks for stopping by.   I’d love to hear about your restlessness…or immersion(s).

BE the inspiration YOU ARE in our world…

Cindy

It’s inevitable that on an almost monthly basis I get “notified” about the obvious when first-timers who visit say, “Did you know your “6” is faded?”  The feedback is consistent enough that I now acknowledge that fact when I give directions for a navigational clue.

I began wondering about how many things I get told where there might be a presupposition that I have an interest in doing anything about making a change that is the issue of import to the commentator.  I haven’t liked my mailbox numbers from Day 1, yet the mail gets delivered every day and people keep finding our house.

What determines the moment we feel we need to really change something?  Is it only when it’s broken or too painful to keep the status quo?  Maybe because we get bored?  Possibly if something gets outdated, the fad or the style has passed? Or how about getting worn down after a jillion repeated “Mom….I really need…..” pleas?

As long as you have a “should” or a mental reason about the need to make a shift of some kind, it won’t happen.   Certainly not if it’s someone else’s idea, either.  The only thing that drives action is emotion. Logic won’t get something moving, feelings will.  We make our decisions emotionally and justify them intellectually.  Any salesperson will agree.

I know a couple – lets call them Dick and Jane – who have been married for many years with a wonderful illustration of a resolution to this concept.  Jane told me what makes their relationship work so well over so many years is they live by the “Law of the Greatest Need”.  The way this law works is the one with the highest need to have something different simply does that thing.  For example, Jane leaves her shoes in the front entryway of their home.  Dick isn’t a fan of shoes on the floor.  When he has greater need than Jane to remove them from that space, he simply moves Jane’s shoes.  Jane, on the other hand, might like the kitchen cleaned in a more thorough way than Dick finds necessary.  So, Jane has the greatest need to put the kitchen in the order she prefers and cleans it to her liking.  No upsetness.  No arguments.  It’s all simply handled.  The things that need doing that neither of them have the greatest need to attend to are negotiated, which could simply mean hiring them out to be done.

What things, situations or ideas in your life are on hold because you have a “should” about making a change?  Is it something you can simply “declare complete” and stop lying to yourself that you’re ever going to do it?  Are you compelled to utilize your time, money, talent or other resources elsewhere and have some other professional take care of the areas that are of import yet not of interest?  If it’s necessary for you to complete tasks for your highest good or for those you love and those who love you, what emotional engagement can you create to easily get the necessary changes moving in your world?

You are your greatest need.  Living by other peoples’ determinations of what you ought to be managing in your life can wear you out over time.  Be true to you.  If you’re the one sweating on field or the court, putting your all into the game, there are likely to be comments and advice from the stands for you, because it’s a lot easier to be an observer than it is to be a player.  Years ago, I received some unsolicited “input” from some well-meaning acquaintances who were “concerned” about my choice in some work I was taking on and the potential subsequent effect on my family.  After ongoing conversations, I eventually let them know that I’ve decided that their continual need to inform me about how concerned they were about my family would be directly correlated to their interest in making my mortgage payment.  Magically, their concerns and commentary subsided.

Follow your heart.  Your head will eventually catch up and agree.  Be emotionally engaged with what you’re up to. Pick 1 word each day, and live that concept all day.  Be happy. Be responsive. Be attentive. Be a listener.  Notice I didn’t say “Do happy”, etc.  Your beingness is the light you shine on the world.

Don’t give up on the word that will inspire you each day.  It’s a great game.  Heck, I bet one of these days soon, I’m going to land on the word that will inspire me to fix my 6!

Blessings –

Cindy